Who Are You Calling Mental?
(Originally posted as a guest post that is no longer available to view)
First allow me to introduce myself. Riley’s my name and writing bdsm romance is my claim to fame. So mental? Wait, before we get to that I just want to do a big shout out to (Redacted because I'm nice like that ;) ) for inviting me here today. It’s going to be fun!
Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah, I’ll be talking about being mental. *Looks right at you* Or being SO sane as I was a year ahead of the findings. Follow me on this. True story. Here’s the background on the “breaking news” that I predicted twelve months earlier.
People who are into kinky sex may be psychologically healthier than those who are not, says a new study. Researchers found that people who were involved in BDSM -- bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism -- scored better on certain indicators of mental health than those who did not bring kink into the bedroom, reported LiveScience.
(“I’ve included the link to the article and my post proving that I pretty much called this in March of 2012 at the bottom of this post for anyone who’d like to check them out)
Bottom line? After doing their “in depth” study there’s a possibility that – and I quote: (they may) remove (the practicing of) BDSM from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
*Does a double take* What? Yeah, you read that right. So my beef with all this? It’s the choice of terminology. Mental disorder. Hm. Maybe I am crazy because the first thought that came to me (if you believe such a thing is a disorder) was that “the doer’s” of BDSM didn’t even warrant a softer-pedal with their “purported” disability. To this day an individual who is identified as kinky is saddled with the stigma of suffering from a mental disorder according to the (DMS). Kind of harsh. Which got me to thinking. Why not say that a BDSM inclined individual is sexually challenged?
And right there the wheels started turning. Because I don’t know about any of you guys, but I like to be challenged sexually. In fact the more I thought about this the more I began to see that those of us who enjoy BDSM aspects should actually embrace the DMS terminology… to a point. Instead of mental disorder, I think the term should be mentally challenged. Yep, you heard me. Ironic isn’t it? Again, I don’t know about any of you, but I want my man to mentally challenge me. In fact, this is one of the biggest and misunderstood benefits of the practice of BDSM. The psychological dance of two minds connecting on more than one level. And to accomplish that, folks? You have to challenge your partner mentally. Of course, a good way to do that is through intimacy, but before you can emotionally strip someone to get to their core you must have their unconditional trust. *tightens the nice red bow around the dots for ya*
See? This is what I write. Heroes that challenge and push their heroine’s sexuality beyond the limits of what society has dictated. Why? Simple. I haven’t met perfect. Meaning I have yet to be introduced to the individual who got it right one hundred percent of the time. So it does beg the question. Who came up with all the rules about sex? Good or bad, who got to make those decisions? They didn’t even know me, so how could they ever hope to know what I’d like or dislike? Why should I have to live within their constraints? That’s not right. Gee, suppose they got it wrong and we’re still living out their mistake? Can anyone say, 1500s a “new” technology known as the printing press. Mayhem ensuing because publishers, and not scribes of the day, where now standardizing spelling? *looks around my kitchen* Well, hello knife. You’re looking sharp today scissors. *gasp* Is that a gnat on my window, where light beyond doth break? I really hate to think in those terms, but I do. ‘Cause you know, you can’t fit a round paddle into the square paddle’s slot no matter how hard you try.
And speaking of paddles… did you catch that awesome segue there? Not bad, huh? Here’s a scene from my latest release, Requested Surrender, that deals with one of the mental challenges a paddle can present.
“I want you to take this”—he collected the paddle off the chair and handed it to her—“upstairs to the room you’ll be sleeping in. You’ll find all your things there and once you’ve readied yourself for bed, I want you to take off the robe and sit on the left side of the mattress. Lay the paddle over your thighs and close your eyes. Then I want you to visualize me. Think about nothing but me for a few quiet minutes and then I want you to open your eyes, lift the paddle to your lips and kiss it. After you’ve done that I want you to say these words. ‘I place my trust in your hands. Thank you for caring enough to correct me.’ Then put the paddle on the nightstand and lie down on the bed. I want you stretched across the width. Arms up over your head and legs comfortably spread. You’ll stay that way for me. Until I come to you, do you understand?”
She nodded and he was completely impressed she didn’t balk or complain. Although that might have had something to do with the fact she was still hopeful he’d go down on her. He wasn’t going to burst her bubble yet. He’d let her work on some great fantasies while she laid up there all frustrated and vulnerable. She’d learn soon enough that there’d be nothing predictable between them. Ever. A woman like Lacy thrived on the unknown. The key here was to train her wandering spirit to become a thrill seeker in another direction.
“Up you get.” He waited until she reached the stairs and called, “Lacy?”
“Do you remember what you have to say after you kiss the paddle?”
Her soft and husky voice told him she did, but he wanted her to repeat it anyway.
“I place my trust in your hands. Thank you for caring enough to correct me.”
He walked over to her and hooked a finger under chin, pulling up. “Very good. You did well tonight. You made me happy.” He searched her face and then whispered,
“Go. I’ll be up soon and then you’ll have another opportunity to make me happy.”
She blushed before she turned and rushed up the steps. Good thing because he might have shared with her how that telling action had already pleased the hell out of him.
(end of excerpt)
Alrighty! If anything I’ve said resonates with you, feel free to leave a comment. If it doesn’t, leave a comment. If it’s raining in your neck-of-the-woods leave a comment. If it’s sunny where you are – a pox on you! <-kidding. Seriously, I’d be hexing myself with that one. I live in Florida. If you’re a cat person, leave a comment. If you’re a dog person, leave a comment. If you like garlic? Go brush your teeth and then come back and leave a comment. Are you sensing a theme here? *drags hands down sides of face* I love comments. Please leave one. *bats eyes lashes at you*
Even if you don’t, thanks for stopping by!
And a big thanks again to (that person's name I redacted because they are on blog hiatus) ! I had a blast.
Oh, and here are those links I promised.
This is the one to the entire article about the study:
This is the one to my Spank Me I Love BDSM blog post that proves I knew it before they did without a study…well, not a government supervised one at any rate. *wink*