Here’s a conversation on the topic between me and a woman who wants to sprinkle a little spice in her married life.
BDSM hopeful, “Is it possible?”
Me, “Hell yeah.”
“But I’m worried if I bring up the subject with my husband, he’ll think I’m dirty.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“Well, no. Yes. I don’t know.”
“That’s why I’d recommend you discuss your needs with your man.”
“But it’s embarrassing.”
“Hmm… So, you’d rather remain comfortable and unfilled, than brave one tough talk and have years of sexual bliss because of it? That’s just plain crazy.”
“I keep thinking about the things I want him to do to me. If I tell him about these things, he’ll think I’m crazy.”
Me pondering for no more than a millisecond. “Nope. I’d put money of the fact he’d thank you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You want to know how I know this?”
BDSM hopeful vigorously nods.
Time to impart the pearls of wisdom. “Most men are clueless. That said, I know for a fact they’re just as horny if not hornier than most woman. So, by my calculation, you have a better than 80% shot of getting the sexual deviant of your dreams if you’re willing to share your secret desires with him.”
“I’m not sure I can. They’re so…so not proper. He’ll think I’m a slut.”
(I’m going on record here as saying that word is very harsh, but it was me talking to someone I usually have sailor-type speak with – so if it makes you uncomfortable to read it, feel free to replace it in your mind with honey-pot) Imma gonna replace it on the blog for ya. :D
Time to break feminine ranks here and pull reality out of the proverbial hat. “He wants you to be a honey-pot. Mores to the point, he wants you to be his honey-pot. Now, if you like the sound of that you better get talking to him.”
“Do you think it’s wrong if a woman wants to be treated like a honey pot by her husband?”
“I could say here that it doesn’t matter what I think, because it doesn’t, but I’ll answer you so we’re clear on this. My philosophy on this is twofold. If you want it, make it happen. Change and growth are always good things in marriage. With that said, I also believe there is nothing – I repeat — nothing wrong with treating a person the way they want to be treated.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I stare right at her. “If you want to be spanked, tied-up, humiliated, poked, prodded or examined by your husband and your husband’s up for the challenge? It’s nobody’s business but your own.”
After having a discussion about how she could break the ice with her guy, I was left scratching my head. Did we or did we not, (women I mean) have a sexual revolution? I got the memo. Anyone else?
Riley
Psst!
I have nothing to add here because I still believe it. Carry on. 😉