Self Tanning Gone Wrong

Okay. Today I’m trying not to go outside and enjoy the sun. I have work to do, right?

Looks longingly out there.

Thinks about deadline Nope. I can’t brown up. I’m too busy brown nosing an editor. Hehehe. Don’t tell. He’ll notice because I am white as dear Casper – Not in Reluctant Surrender, but in my own skin.

Looks right at you

Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I self tanned? No? Cries laughing I bought this product for non-white skin because I preferred the deeper tone. I don’t know about you, but sometimes the fake tans they sell come off as too orangey.

Anyways, there I am looking at the smear I had going on, and thought, Mm…not dark enough. I mean if you’re going to go to the trouble of staining your skin to look magnificent you want people to notice, right?

****Deadpans**** AS In. Stop the world while I tell you!!!

Do not. I repeat. Do not do this people. I looked like Magda, Mary's over-tanned, leather-skinned dog lover friend in Something About Mary.

Haha!

What did cranky contractor say when he saw me? “You been mud wrestling today?”

Me: Blink, blink. Until I caught sight of myself in the hall mirror.

Damn it. He was right. Big lesson learned there.

***Alert, alert*** Do not apply any skin stain in your softly lit bath area. The results may be different in the real light of day.

As I recall, I was angrier over not being able to appear superior than I was about his comment. How could I get mad? I did look like I had been trolling a dirt bath for some swamp-like patina.

In the end I figured it was all good. The exfoliating I had to do to remove the non-radiant brown took off a couple of layers of skin. So yeah, in a roundabout way, I guess I did accomplish a radiant glow from scrubbing the crap out of myself.

Conclusion? Maybe I should take ten and meet the sun for some shine, because I’ve decided self tanning attempts are like pregnancy. The minute you forget the pain you went through in the ordeal, you’re ready to give it another go.

*Nods sagely at you* Seriously at the moment I’m thinking I could probably make that stain work now that I’ve had experience with it.

This deserves a double

I’ll keep you posted.

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley who is busy writing and being very, very, happy!